Mono, Di, Tri, Tetra
by The Interference
Summary: Soft Poly AU. Class 1-A is a giant nest of love and caring affection. Starts with Katsudeku, goes uphill from there. Except for Mineta, of course.
1. Chapter 1

It actually hits him right during the Entrance Exam lecture.

"Psst," he whispers at Kacchan. "Kacchan."

" _What, Deku. _"

" _Go out with me. _"

Kacchan's head swivels around so fast that Izuku has to flinch back to stop it from colliding with his. Then he sees Kacchan's eyes, so wide and shocked, just staring at him speechlessly.

Oh. Kacchan had not been expecting that.

" _What the hell are you talking about, _" Katsuki mutters furiously, he grabs Izuku's arm and twists the gakuran's cheap fabric. "Huh? Are you making fun of me again, Deku?!"

"Wait, Kacchan - you got the wrong idea! I like you! Go out with me!"

"YOU TWO!"

Izuku and Katsuki, stupefied, blink as the spotlight focuses on them. Izuku has to shut his eyes to get used to direct fluorescent. The one that's pointing at them is a tall, broad-shouldered boy with rectangular glasses and short, choppy movements. He's… scolding them?

"You're interrupting the session! Not to mention PDA is offensive in a professional establishment such as U.A!"

"The fuck did you say, _asshole _?! You wanna fucking go?!"

"Kacchan! He didn't mean that!"

The boy adjusts his glasses, straightening his posture in righteousness, "You should listen to your partner, please act as befitting of a person who will be sitting the U.A.'s exam!"

"I'll _gladly _show you how to act like that, you pompous-" Izuku cuts in just in time to apologize for his childhood friend. In the end, the strict boy and the spotlight's attention is deflected from the two and they're left to quietly talk it out.

Kacchan turns to him with a disbelieving scowl. It makes Izuku's stomach do knots but he swallows his wariness and attacks directly to the matter at hand,

"Listen to me," he says. "I'm not trying to do anything. I just realized it, but I _really _like you, Kacchan! You're awesome, clever, and skilled; I admire your drive, your determination, and your ambition! _Please go out with me! _"

Katsuki is silent in the face of such a declaration, from someone he had never expected. He turns to stare to the letter on the paper, hunching in on himself.

"I don't know," he answers. Izuku notices his shifty eyes that refuse to meet his. "Don't you have better people to confess to or something?"

Izuku's mind turns static, like a broken TV.

_'What thenxhdhdjsjjdnsnsn-' _

"...What are you talking about, Kacchan?"

Katsuki makes a 'tsk' sound, "You have many options to choose from, you dumb nerd. And… Well. You had to choose failure like me?"

Izuku just… stops functioning. What is Kacchan saying?! How could he have come to that conclusion? With Izuku, teachers, classmates and even strangers praising him, how can he have such a low esteem of himself? This is unacceptable!

He pins Kacchan with his gaze, his childhood friend stilling as he eyes Izuku. He leans into Kacchan's personal bubble, getting into his face and making him flush at the attention.

"Kacchan," he demands. "Go out with me."

Katsuki gulps at him, expression dumbfounded. Eventually, he caves in and averts his eyes.

"Okay," he says without any ire. Izuku's whole face illuminates with victory and happiness, beaming with a beautiful smile.

Fuck. Katsuki might have bitten more than he can chew. Ah, who cares. At least the packaging is cute.

"Oi," he mutters, pinching the nerd's annoyingly sweet, plump cheek. "Don't get cocky, you think you can beat me? In your _dreams _."

"Ehhh-" Izuku pouts as his cheek is left stinging and red. He rubs over the soreness. "-What does that have to do with us dating?"

"It doesn't - _someone's _ gotta keep that ego reined though!"

" _You _are telling _me…!" _

They get called out during the lecture again, for making too much noise. Izuku sheepishly scratches his nape while Katsuki makes a rude thumbs-down at the boy from earlier. Izuku doesn't mind as much as he should, which makes him feel a bit guilty. He shouldn't be allowing Kacchan to rub off on him so much!

After parting ways reluctantly -

_"Well… Good luck, Deku. Can you even get a decent score?" _

_"Kacchan! Don't worry, I've got it handled. I'll get into UA with you, for sure!" _

_\- _Izuku has some time to take in the peer pressure and his own anxious thoughts. From the corner of his eyes, he gets a glimpse of the girl from earlier, who is very, _very _cute with her flushed cheeks and looking even more anxious than him. He enthusiastically walks over to raise her spirits when suddenly he's held back by an insistent grip on his shoulder.

As he turns his head back, he realizes it's the formal-looking boy from the lecture, who had shouted at Kacchan and him. He seemed disapproving and mad, so Izuku hunched I'm in himself self consciously.

"Such disappointing attitude," the boy chided, reminding Izuku of some _really _short tempered primary school teacher. "Were you trying to distract her? As you can see, that girl is attempting to focus on her examination preparations! Perhaps you were going to try and sabotage her?!"

"Of - Of course not!"

But it's too late for him; as everyone begin to mutter amongst themselves, Izuku notices quickly that he is being dismissed by the other competitors.

_"Not a challenge at all." _

_"Heh, free points for us!" _

_"He looks so scared. Look at him!" _

Before Izuku can even utter a word of denial, a loud, ear-torturing siren blares right above them, near the giant gates. A pause from everyone, as if the world has simply frozen over.

_"What's the issue?" _Present Mic's voice asks them, seeing that no one moved yet. _"In real life, there is no countdown! Early bird gets the worm!' _

And with that, Izuku is left in the dust as everyone scrambles off to rack up as many points as possible. He coughs a bit, disoriented. Oh darn, he is late! He rushes off frantically, trying to spot a robot, _any robot, _with no luck at all. It's as if the opponents have all suddenly disappeared, now that there are other competitors around!

Izuku, to his fortune, finds a two-pointer on his way. Panicking, he attempts to remember if All Might had _actually _instructed him in how to activate One For All, realizing with a cold shudder that **_no, he had done no such thing. _**

And, about to scream, he's saved by a wayward laser beam that comes from directly left. His head snaps to look where there's now a young blond boy in extravagant clothing.

"Oh, _mon dieu," _the boy says as he fans himself. He points a finger at Izuku, startling him. "We were quite the team, don't you think? But unfortunately, this will be the last collaboration of ours! _Adieu, Monsieur…!" _

He zips away with a flash of laser, leaving Izuku in an even bigger worry before.

_'This is bad!' _he furiously thinks. _'I don't know how to use One For All! I'm as good as Quirkless in this exam!' _

And out of the blue, a massive quiver shakes the ground! When he raises his eyes, they nearly pop out with the shock of what he's seeing.

_A giant - A giant - _

**_A giant robot…!_ **

It's a colossal, impossible machinery. One red, cursed optic stares at the participants with emotionless regard.

**_Then it begins moving._ **

Izuku can faintly hear the frightened cries as everyone evacuates the invaded city. But he's almost stuck to where he stands, body motionless after the fear of seeing something so overwhelming.

_That's - That's just an overkill! How do they expect us to fight that thing? I need to - _

Someone is wriggling in the rubble ahead.

Izuku, to his horror, realizes it's the girl who helped him. She struggles bravely, but ultimately fails to get the rubble off.

It's involuntary. He doesn't notice he's running until after the sheer overpowering force of One For All wrecks his legs. He doesn't feel the pain until he's pulling back his fist and punching the robot in the head with a Smash. He doesn't dread until he sees the ground approaching as he falls to his defeat.

And, suddenly -

**_SLAP!_ **

Everything freezes, slows down, world waits as he floats in the air. Suspended, he realizes the girl had been the one to save him from his fall.

Then, with a move of her hands, he plops down into the ground.

"Oof."

"Ah, I'm sorry! I forgot you were flying!"

"I-It's okay…"

People crowd around Izuku, staring in awe at the unassuming boy who broke the zero-pointer.

Among them, Iida Tenya - aspiring Hero. He feels ashamed of both his earlier actions and his behavior during the exam.

_'This is not the kind of thing a delinquent does,' _he realizes, disappointed in himself. _'He obviously means well, and he saved that girl. He was probably trying to encourage her as well, before. It seems I was in the wrong! And during the examination, I had forgotten the values a Hero must live up to. This boy -' _He gazes at the green haired, injured boy as he's taken away by the nurses. _'He's on a whole other level of noble! Such courageous actions, such spirit! It's no wonder he was the one to destroy the robot. _

_'But,' _he remembers in distaste. _'It was the zero-pointer. And even for his admirable effort, he will not be given any points for this rescue.' _

_Such a waste of a good person. What are the Heroes thinking?! _

Ah. The boy might be pretty beat-up, but he still looked gorgeous in a simple way. Certainly -

_What am I thinking?! Get a hold of yourself, Tenya, he has a boyfriend! A _**_very _**_belligerent boyfriend! It's not like you to get between those who love each other. _

"Excuse me!" the girl from earlier comes up to him. "You know him, right? The green boy?"

"Ah," Tenya blinks, surprised that she had approached him. "Yes, that's true. Albeit not friendly, we have been acquainted."

"Thank God! I was thinking we could visit him by his bed, where they keep him. I _really _want to thank him for saving me!"

_'Oh,' _Tenya muses out of balance, shaken at the sight of a beautiful girl smiling so brightly at him. _'This must be karma for earlier, then.' _

"I would love to accompany you!" he accepts, tearful. What else could he say at the face of such an otherworldly person?

_Karma, Tenya. This is your karma coming to haunt you. You shouldn't have admired that boy's fair and adorable countenance. This is your punishment. _

* * *

"Oh!" Izuku exclaims around a faceful of flowers. He hugs the bouquet close, cheeks flushing warmly at the thoughtful gesture. "Thank you Kacchan! I love them!"

"It's whatever. Put it in a vase and stare at it for all I care. You okay?"

"Hm?" Izuku turns to look at him, distracted by the gorgeous wildflowers. "I'm okay! I love these, Kacchan, this is the first bouquet you've ever given me."

Katsuki snorts, "Psh, you think that's a bouquet? You haven't seen anything. Old hag would have your head if you said that. Then again-" He stops to pause. "She might not. She _adores _ you."

"Mmm. How is Aunty?"

" _Fine, _what do you think? It hasn't been _that _long since you saw her."

"No," Izuku denies, thinking hard. "It _has. _Oh my God, Kacchan, it's been almost a year!"

"Has it?"

" _Yes!" _

Right at that moment, knocks on the infirmary door sound, saving Katsuki from a scolding.

It opens without a sound, revealing the boy from the lecture and the girl Izuku saved.

"Oh! You're-"

"Yes! Ah, I've been wanting to talk to you!"

"'Wanting' is not grammatically correct as it is a modal verb," the boy informs, sighing when he sees his explanation has gone unnoticed with the girl and Izuku conversing amiably. He turns to Katsuki, bowing.

"Hello," he greets. "I'm Iida Tenya from Soumei Private Academy! I am glad to meet you!"

"Yeah, yeah," Katsuki says in turn. "Stop bending. It's fucking annoying."

Tenya stares at him in dumbfounded silence, astonished at the heights of his rudeness. Katsuki sneers at his state.

"I'm Bakugou," he offers reluctantly under Izuku's watchful eye. "I'm not fucking glad to meet you."

"Ah… I had gathered."

"I should introduce myself," the girl says. "Nice to meet you! I'm Uraraka Ochako!"

"Midoriya Izuku! And this-" He beckons Kacchan near him with a huge, effervescent smile. "-is Kacchan! I mean, Bakugou Katsuki."

He leaned in with a mischievous expression, "He's also my boyfriend!"

"Uwah!" Ochako coos at them, biting her lips. "That's so cute! Like, the bad boy and the cutie getting together thing?"

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING A BAD BOY?!"

"Ah-" Tenya interrupts just as another argument almost began. "The reason we have visited-"

"Oh yes!" Ochako exclaimed sheepishly. "I wanted to thank you for rescuing me, that was so brave of you!"

"You _saved _her?" Katsuki asked him, face unreadable before turning irritable. "Idiot Deku! This is _competition, _saving some random chick ain't gonna win you the Hero Course!"

"That's right!" Tenya agrees, adjusting his glasses. "Ah - but I must give credit when it's due. Your actions today were befitting of a true Hero! Midoriya-san, please let us exchange numbers. I would like to stay in touch even if we don't end up in the same classes."

_'I hope that wasn't terribly forward of me!' _Tenya worries in secret. He is sweating buckets just imagining what Bakugou might react to him asking for Midoriya's number.

"Oh oh!" Ochako perks up at that. She had been intrigued by this cute, chivalrous boy; even if he has a boyfriend. It is a big letdown for her but she supposes she might still be his friend! "Please! Me too! I wanna be friends too!"

Turning to Bakugou, she thinks it might be a worthy endeavor to befriend the boyfriend too. In case he tries to make a fuss about Midoriya talking to her.

"Give me your number too, Baku!" she demands brazenly. It embarrasses her a bit, but Ochako's a tough girl! She can handle a bit of shame! "We can make a group chat with all of us in it!"

Katsuki ends up giving his phone up just to let Izuku stop whining.

* * *

"It's been such a long day, Kacchan," Izuku sighes, morose as he muses about his examination. "I botched up everything. Couldn't hit a single robot."

" _Dummy. Never mind, we can just go on dates instead of hanging out at school." _

"But I wanted to be a Hero _with you!" _Izuku cries through the phone call. He is in severe distress here! _Severe! _If only Kacchan would comfort him like a normal boyfriend should. "You're my boyfriend, aren't you supposed to envelop me in your gentle embrace and kiss my tears away?"

_"I have two questions: Where the fuck did you hear that shit from and why do I have to hear it?" _

"There, _that's _why Ochako called you a bad boy, Kacchan! You're _so _not gentle."

_"If you wanted _**_gentle _**_you should have gone and asked out Romeo, you fucking Julietto." _

"Eh - no way! Romeo _killed _himself, Kacchan! Why would I ask him out?"

_"I don't fucking know. Why would you?" _

"That's… Wait a minute. You're trying to confuse me! Why are you trying to confuse me?!"

_"Heh," _sounds from the phone, just as Izuku hears some commotion downstairs. _"You caught me. Come answer the door, dummy." _

"Ka… Kacchan? Are you really..." Izuku breathes out in wonder.

_"Moron. What are you waiting for? You were the one sobbing in your pillow all day. Come get me!" _

Izuku rushes to the door.

_Kacchan can be real sweet, sometimes. _


	2. aKEWLman

**_Group Chat: Number One Hero and Extras_ **

**_Reckless needy nerd: _**_IT'S HERE! _

_MY LETTER! _

**_That's the tea: _**_:0000 _

_IZUKUUUU~ _

_Open it open it! _

**_Number One Hero: _**_YOU BETTER WAIT UNTIL I ARRIVE _

_YOU STUPID DORK _

**_Speedy Gonzales: _**_Bakugou-kun, "stupid dork" is a redundant statement. You used "stupid" and "dork" together and they have the same meaning. _

**_Number One Hero: _**

**_Speedy Gonzales: _**_You are wrong to flip me off because I am correct in this instance. _

**_That's the tea: _**_Izuku! Are you and Baku gonna read your letters together? :DDD _

**_Reckless needy nerd: _**_Yup! __ Kacchan3 __ UwU Kacchan I'm so excited hurry up 3333 _

**_That's the tea: _**_ AngryBoyÒxÓ __ Look what your precious Deku calls you OvO He's cute isn't he _

_Kacchannnnn~ _

**_Number One Hero: _**_stfu smh _

_That'll be his catchphrase once he's a Hero _

_"Everything's alright! Why? Because Kacchan's here!" _

**_That's the tea: _**_terribly egoistical of you to compare yourself to All Might Bakubaku _

**_Reckless needy nerd: _**_That's kind of egotistical Kacchan _

_Ochako! :D _

_We said it at the same time! _

**_That's the tea: _**_uwu soulmates _

**_Number One Hero: _**_You see this? I'm pointing at this idiot broccoli _

_That's mine _

_Unless he says you're his girlfriend you're out of luck _

_Gtfo _

**_That's the tea: _**_uwu ur just jelly _

_I'll fight for ur honor Izuku _

_En garde, Sir Bakugou _

**_Number One Hero changes That's the tea's nickname to Homewrecker Slut _**

**_Homewrecker Slut: _**_You can't run from the truth _

**_Speedy Gonzales: _**_Bakugou! That's unnecessarily rude! Why must you be like this? _

_**Number One Hero changes Speedy Gonzales's nickname to Slut's Ally** _

**_Number One Hero: _**_I get my nutrition from being petty and Deku's love _

**_Reckless needy nerd: _**_Kacchan I don't approve. _

**_Number One Hero changes Reckless needy nerd's nickname to Number One's Captive _**

**_Number One's Captive: _**_But why? _

**_Number One Hero: _**_I know you want to escape my hold Deku _

_But I have handcuffs to prevent that _

**_Number One's Captive: _**_I'm so confuse _

_What going on _

**_Homewrecker Slut: _**_Izuku don't worry I have connections ;DDD _

_They can get you out in no time _

**_Slut's Ally: _**_I am siding with Midoriya-kun in this matter. _

_Bakugou, what should I do for you to change my name? _

**_Number One Hero: _**_Do a dogeza. _

**_Slut's Ally: _**_On second thought, I am fine like this. _

**_Number One Hero: _**_You chicken? Get on your hands and knees, Sonic the Hedgehog. _

**_Homewrecker Slut: _**_*documentary voice: And here you can see an Assholus Douche-eus, commonly known as a Bakugou Katsuki, asserting dominance over another male of different species. Interestingly, he seems to be propositioning the rival male, paying no attention to his actual mate, a rare Sweetus Izukulus _

**_Number One Hero: _**_Deku knows I would never cheat on him _

_Right __ Deku __ ? _

**_Number One's Captive: _**_:((((((( _

_Kacchan do you think Iida-kun is better-looking than me? _

**_Number One Hero changes Number One's Captive's nickname to My One True Luv _**

**_My One True Luv: _**_You're forgiven. _

_But I didn't see you answer my question _

**_Number One Hero: _**_I'm at the front door _

**_My One True Luv: _**_! :DDD 33 Coming! _

**_Homewrecker Slut: _**_Pshhhh Izuku he totally deflected you _

_Izuku? _

_I guess you two are looking at the results _

**_Slut's Ally: _**_Uraraka-kun, I received my letter just now! I must leave the chat for a while! _

**_Homewrecker Slut: _**_Oh! That's alright Iida-kun :))) I'll be waiting! _

_Welp I'm alone _

* * *

**_Group Chat: Number One Hero And Extras_ **

**_Number One Hero: _**_FUCK YEAH I GOT IN _

**_Homewrecker Slut: _**_:DDD Congrats! _

**_Slut's Ally: _**_Congratulations to you, Bakugou-kun! _

**_Number One Hero changes Homewrecker Slut's nickname to Sips tea _**

**_Number One Hero changes Slut's Ally's nickname to Good boy _**

**_Number One Hero: _**_I reward those who serve me well. _

_Remember this rule. _

**_Sips tea: _**_What about Izuku? _

_Le gasp _

_Did he not get in?! _

_IS THAT WHY HES SILENT?! _

**_Number One Hero: _**_He got in and the bitch cried so hard he ruined his face permanently _

_He's in the bathroom _

_Meanwhile I am in charge of his phone _

**_Sips tea: _**_oh no _

**_Good boy: _**_Oh no. _

**_My One True Luv: _**_Kacchan uwu I love you ur so hot _

**_Sips tea: _**_When I think about it, yeah Izuku would actually say something like this :/ _

**_My One True Luv: _**_Marry me Kacchan I wanna be your wife _

_I don't want Ocha bitch sweetie I want uuuuuuuu 3333 _

**_Sips tea: _**_well. _

_Ocha bitch isn't so original Baku. _

_Impress me. _

**_Number One Hero: _**_*cracks knuckles _

**_Number One Hero changes My One True Luv's nickname to Teagirl is an ugly shit _**

**_Teagirl is an ugly shit: _**_Ocha you're so ugly not even Glasses would want to kiss you _

**_Sips tea: _**_I beg your pardon _

_Iida is my imaginary boyfriend _

_As in I imagine us kissing and being a lovey dovey couple _

_So your argument is irrelevant _

**_Teagirl is an ugly bitch: _**_so you're saying "only in my dreams" _

**_Sips tea: _**_I'm saying it's happening in an alternative universe _

_In that alternative universe I'm also dating Deku and you _

**_Teagirl is an ugly bitch: _**_so you're saying you're after our hot asses _

**_Sips tea: _**_I decided in that alternative universe I'm not dating you - I whisk Deku away from your evil clutches and live with my hot husbands Tenya and Izuku _

**_Good boy: _**

_What has happened while I was gone?! _

**_Sips tea: _**_Iida-kun welcome back! :DDDD _

_Ooh are you choking? _

**_Good boy: _**_Are you saying you would like to be romantically involved, Uraraka-kun? _

**_Sips tea: _**_:DDDD Why not? _

_You're very handsome :DDD _

_And diligent _

_And sweet _

_And you'd be the perfect chivalrous boyfriend _

_Who wouldn't want to date you? _

**_Teagirl is an ugly bitch: _**_Me. _

**_Sips tea: _**_we know you're deep in denial for your affection for Iida, Kacchuki _

_You just need some time to come to terms with it _

_And you need to ask Izuku for permission. :0 _

_Baku? Where have you gone? _

**_Number One Hero: _**_KACCHAN GIVE BACK MY PHONE _

_IM MAD AT YOU _

_ Teagirl is an ugly bitch Teagirl is an ugly bitch Teagirl is an ugly bitch _

_COME BACK _

_Oh wait I have absolute dominance over this realm now _

_Ochako what would you like to have as your nickname? _

**_Sips tea: _**_Deku? _

_Hmm this is fine actually _

_I enjoy gourmet memes _

_Tell Bakugou I love it _

**_Number One Hero: _**_hmm okay _

_Iida-kun? _

**_Good boy: _**_I would like my name, if you would. _

**_Number One Hero changes Good boy's nickname to Tenya _**

**_Number One Hero changes their nickname to I am a bad boyfriend _**

**_I am a bad boyfriend changes Teagirl is a bitch's nickname to Deku _**

**_I am a bad boyfriend changes Group Chat name to Prince Ochako and Her Husbands _**

**_I am a bad boyfriend transfers admin status to Sips tea _**

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_I thought he might change the changes again if I gave the admin status to myself _

_I am entrusting you with this task Ochako! _

**_Sips tea: _**_*salutes _

_And btw Izuku? Wanna. Be my. Husband? :D _

_Hm and I guess Bakugou too _

_He's crude _

_But he's not so bad _

_And I guess you two arrive as a package now _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_Hmm…. _

_I mean, you're very cute! And I heard of people dating multiple people. _

_I guess if Kacchan's okay with it, I don't have any objections _

_Wait I backread the messages _

_Does that mean I'm going to be dating Iida-kun as well? _

**_Sips tea: _**_if you want? _

_If he doesn't refuse I guess _

_And if he can bear with Bakugou XD _

**_Tenya: _**_I am not against it. _

**_Sips tea: _**_it means "I would love to, please make me your boyfriend" in Iida-nese _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_:DDD I need to ask Kacchan _

**_Deku: _**_Eh. It's whatever. As long as I have Deku I don't mind. __ I am a bad boyfriend __ What. _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_I'm tired of fighting. I wanna cuddle. Let's say sorries and watch a movie together _

**_Deku: _**_Alright. Sorry I used your phone without asking, and sorry for being mean to Floaty _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_sorry for giving admin to Ochako _

**_Deku: _**_WAIT WHAT _

_WHEN WAS THAT _

_DEKU _

_YOU LITTLE SHIT- _

* * *

**_Group Chat: Prince Ochako And Her Husbands_ **

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_Being back on my own phone feels like I popped out wings and farted into the sky _

**_Tenya: _**_That is an unusual analogy. What inspired you, if I may ask? _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_Having my phone back, obviously. _

_So since we're all dating now- _

_Does that mean we're ALL gonna kiss when we arrive at UA? _

**_Sips tea: _**_O.O _

_! _

_:DDDDDD KISS KISS KISS _

**_Deku: _**_KISS KISS KISS _

_Iida-kun is kissing okay for you? _

**_Tenya: _**_I think so? I have never kissed before. _

**_Deku: _**_Neither have I! _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_heh virgins _

**_Deku: _**_you're a virgin as well _

_I know because I watch your routines 24/7 _

_There's nothing you do that I don't know _

**_Sips tea: _**_sTaLkeR aLerT- _

**_Deku: _**_….Kacchan Im so sorry! D: _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_stfu Teagirl Deku's like that on a daily basis _

_He just has a hero fetish _

**_Sips tea: _**_O-O _

_Hmm btw I wanna go on a date _

**_Tenya: _**_Like the time we watched that skating anime using Skype? _

**_Sips tea: _**_nah like- _

_A PUBLIC date _

_Maybe the movies! _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_Why would we go to a movie theater when we can watch movies here? _

**_Deku: _**_but being together physically is better _

_Right Kacchan? :DDD 3 _

**_Sips tea: _**_Heart time _

_333333 _

**_Deku: _**_3333333333 _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_333 stfu _

_Three threes for three people who are lucky enough to date the future number one hero _

**_Tenya: _**_3 _

_One heart for all of you because all of you have their own special place in my heart. _

**_Sips tea: _**_Omg Tenya _

_That's so cute! _

_And :0000 romantic _

**_Deku: _**_Prime boyfriend material _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_What am I, chopped liver? _

**_Tenya: _**_You're a rude romantic, Bakugou. Unless you want to take over my position? _

**_I am a bad boyfriend: _**_You can have it smh. _

_Deku does that mall near the subway have a movie theater? _

**_Deku: _**_?! Kacchan 3333! _

_Hm, I think it does! _

_Ochako, where do you live, if you don't mind me asking? _

**_Sips tea: _**_uwu anything for you sweetie _

_I'll send you the coordinates. You two are at Musutafu, right? _

**_Deku: _**_Yup! _

_Wahhh this is gonna be so awesome! _

* * *

"I can't believe we're doing this," Katsuki grumbles, very loudly if I say so, in the middle of the mall. Despite the disapproving glances of his boyfriends and girlfriend, "We could have been chillin' at Deku's. He's got Netflix."

"Don't you have Netflix as well, Bakugou-kun?"

"Well, he's got a free trial. I ain't gonna waste my paid subscription for movie dates."

"Sheesh," Ochako whined, draping herself onto Izuku's shoulders. "I wish I had Netflix. Saw this awesome anime series that's being streamed there."

Katsuki, turning to her, "Which one?"

"The Dragon Prince or something."

"Huh? Sounds fucking lame."

"It's got a possibly gay character in it. And it has _magic. _"

"Okay it's probably not that lame."

"Oh!" Tenya points at the entrance of the theater. Enthusiastic, he smiles at his companions and urges them to hurry up. "We have arrived! See - GPS is never wrong!"

"I beg your pardon you fucking jet motor because _it always is _-"

The argument doesn't get a chance break out, since they all get distracted by the seat selection. Izuku insists on choosing a row in the middle. Simultaneously, Katsuki pushes for one in the back because, "No Deku, if we get that place popcorn is gonna _rain _on us. Understand? _Rain. _"

"But _Kacchan. _The two thirds of the seats from the bottom to the top are the best ones since the audio acoustics says they receive the best quality of sound _and _graphics-"

"Yeah, well, I don't care. I don't want a popcorn rain."

"I agree with Midoriya-kun."

"I mean, isn't that because you're incredibly gay for Izuku, Tenya?" Ochako questions in suspicion. "No offense, even though you should be offended. You know. Since we're _all _dating."

Tenya lets the silence reign before articulating his answer. He pushes his glasses up his nose, the light glinting from the lenses. "Well," he starts. "No. In fact, I read the same article that suggested Midoriya-kun's proposal. It was absolutely... **_sound_ **, if you would, in its points. I believe we will have the best experience in the two-third-row!"

"One: I can't believe you're a pun-maker as well as a smart-aleck. Two: You're wrong. Reasons? My common sense in my brain. _Mark my fucking words _, we're going to have popcorn all over our hairs."

"Oh? Let's have a bet then," Ochako says. She knows that Katsuki will rise to her bait. "If we get assaulted by popcorn, you can get the admin back."

" _Bitch. _Do you know how hard it's to clean off _oil?" _

"Fair point. Admin _and _the choice of place for our next date."

_" _You're on." __

* * *

"Is this supposed to be cool?" Ochako asked Tenya. The scene played out, the streotypical male protagonist giving a wickedly sexy grin at the camera. "I mean, it's obviously hot - but I was expecting something with more personality."

"Wait, are we here to discuss the appeal?" Izuku piped up. "In that case: I think he'd be overall nice to date-"

"Like hell. He's fucking annoying. Ew."

"You're only saying that because he is taller than you, Bakugou-kun."

Ochako shushed them as Aquaman defeated the members of the pirate crew with his extremely powerful strength. Cooing, "Ooh, _yeah, _use those snack muscles baby. _Hmm… _Look at that freaking _chest. _Those pecs."

"I'm… I'm really tempted," Izuku said, eyes wide at the male lead.

Katsuki snorted, unsubtly stretching his own muscles, "He's got nothing I don't have. Wanna feel me up, you fuckwads?"

"Ew," Ochako answered with the straightest face she could muster. Katsuki moved to punch her but Tenya got between them, covering his girlfriend in a noble fashion while Izuku pulled the beast by his sinewy biceps.

"You're very handsome, Kacchan," he placated, patting his boyfriend's hair. "You've even got breasts!"

"Wait the fuck up-" Ochako's head snapped back. "- Kacchan has _tits?" _

"Shush," Tenya said, pointing at the screen which showed a heart wrenching scene depicting father-son angst with character death. "It is the bad guy's origin!"

"Sorry Iida-kun," Izuku apologized. To Ochako, "I mean, have you seen his pectorals? They _bulge." _

Ochako hummed, "Wanna show, Kacchan?"

"No way in hell after that 'Ew.'"

"Aw. But I wanted to drool over my boyfriend."

"Tough fucking luck."

* * *

Katsuki was laughing for five minutes.

" _Kacchan," _Izuku hissed. "We're getting unwanted attention! What if they throw us out?!"

"It's too fucking funny - he's a Draco Malfoy! Deku, look at this _dude. _Look at the top of his _hair." _

Ochako snorted, devolving into giggles as the Draco Malfoy look-alike took up the whole screen.

Tenya gaped, "I - I have to admit there's an uncanny resemblance…"

"Nope. See, that's the back of his hair. He's got a ponytail," Ochako noted. "A _baby _ponytail."

"He's like an amateur crossover between Lucius and Draco. Who the hell makes these characters?"

"Well," Tenya interrupted. "It is still a nice movie."

Katsuki raised an eyebrow. He poked Tenya's cheek, "Have you _seen _any movies since ten years ago?"

"That's very insulting, I will have you know," Tenya defended himself, sniffing in a superior fashion. "I watched a lot of classics-"

"Yeah, like what? Dr. Strange? Movies with shitty plots don't count."

"Oi, Baku." Ochako threw a popcorn at him, even though Katsuki dodged it expertly. "Dr. Strange was _awesome." _

"It was shitty. Deku, agree with me."

"Eh? I didn't watch that, Kacchan; I can't agree with you."

* * *

Tenya ended up asleep on Katsuki's shoulder, drool leaking from the corner of his wide agape mouth.

"Gross," Katsuki hissed, a shiver taking hold of him. "How the hell can someone so proper be reduced to _this?" _

"Well, _rude. _You're talking as if you never drool, Katsuki," Ochako pointed out. "I mean, I have tons of screenshots of you from Skype. You always fall asleep before we reach the ten o'clock mark."

"That's different," Katsuki refutes. "I'm a guy who doesn't care if you idiots think I'm filthy. _This _particular moron here is the one who's _princely. _And princes don't drool. It's a fucking rule."

"No, it's not, Kacchan."

"Um, excuse you, Deku. Suck my dick."

Ochako whistled, "Are we really at that stage? Hm, you two live close though. Getting up to some mischief _alone? _For shame."

Katsuki flipped her off, Ochako retaliated by repeating the gesture. Izuku slumped in his seat as he was _so tired _of all this bickering. Soon enough, he slipped into a light sleep similar to Tenya's.

Now _both _of Katsuki's shoulders were full. Full of _nerds. _

He scoffed, "I guess y'all are kind of tolerable."

"Aw," Ochako cooed from the sidelines. "That's high praise from you, Katsuki! So cute!"

"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN'-"

To the horror of everyone aware of the physical world, an explosion in the movie startled the audience. They, unwittingly, let go of their big-size popcorn without care; Ochako and Katsuki stared in dismay as the buttery goodness descended upon their heads in slow motion.

_'May God have mercy on us,' _Ochako thought as she bare witness to this atrocity.

_'Man I hope Mom got that premium shampoo,' _was on Katsuki's mind.

Popcorn. Salty popcorn. Caramel popcorn. All that deliciousness staining their shirts and perfect hair. They would have to up their cleaning routine for tonight.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Kacchan," Izuku repeated for the infinity-th time on the video call. "I really didn't think it'd happen!"

"I fucking know, Deku! Stop apologizing like a little bitch!"

"He's right, Deku," Ochako pointed out. "Don't be so hard on yourself! We got to watch the movie in the best quality possible after all; isn't that right, Tenya-kun?"

Tenya nodded in agreement, face splitting with a wide and fond smile. "I liked the placement of the seats, Midoriya-kun. And even if it was your fault that we had popcorn raining on us, I was onboard with your decision beforehand and that would mean the blame also belonged to me."

"Kindly shut up and watch the anime, nerds," Katsuki reminded them with a harsh shush. "This is the new fucking season and I'm not gonna ruin the experience with your endless babbling!"

It went smoothly after that. They traded insults and sarcastic words with the same grace they had while exchanging affectionate endearments.

Dozing off in the light of their laptops, tablets and phones, they dreamed of each other going to the same school...


End file.
